Privacy and discretion in the lifestyle: how to protect yourself

Staying discreet in the lifestyle comes down to a few habits: use a private, members-only community instead of everyday social media, keep identifying details out of your profile and photos, share your face only with people you trust, never share anyone else's identity, and use privacy tools that let you control exactly who sees what. Do those consistently, and you can enjoy the lifestyle with real peace of mind.

Most people in the lifestyle aren't hiding because they're ashamed. They simply believe their private life is nobody else's business, and that's a perfectly good reason.

Choose where you share

Everyday social media is built to spread things: to friends of friends, to people you used to know, to anyone with your phone number. That's exactly why lifestyle moments don't belong there. A private, members-only community, where everyone is an adult who has signed up for the same thing, is a far safer home for your lifestyle life.

Your profile

• Use a nickname, never your real full name, and don't reuse a username from your everyday accounts.
• Leave out your workplace, your street, your kids' details and anything that could be searched.
• Share your city, not your neighborhood. A good community should never show your exact location.
• Keep your bio about who you are and what you enjoy, not where you can be found.

Your photos

Photos are where most privacy slips happen. A few simple rules go a long way.

• Check the background: house numbers, recognizable views, family photos, work badges and car plates all give you away.
• Watch for tattoos, jewelry and birthmarks you'd rather not be recognized by. Blurring is your friend.
• Keep face photos for people you trust, in a private album you control.
• Never send a photo you'd be upset to see shared. Use photos that disappear after viewing when you can.

“Discretion isn't secrecy. It's choosing who gets to know you, and when.”

Messaging and meeting

Chat inside the community until you trust someone, rather than handing out your phone number or everyday social accounts. When you meet, choose somewhere public first, tell a trusted friend where you'll be, and arrange your own way home. If someone pushes for personal details too fast, that tells you something.

Protect others, too

Discretion only works if everyone practices it. Never share someone's name, photos or identity, never take pictures at events, and never confirm to anyone outside the lifestyle who you've seen there. People remember who kept their confidence, and in a community this close, your reputation for discretion is worth a great deal.

How TruLS protects your privacy

TruLS was designed so members can share freely without worrying about friends, family or coworkers seeing. Here's what's built in today:

• Members only: profiles, photos and posts are visible only to signed-in members, never to the public or search engines.
• City-level location only: distances are measured between cities, never exact locations.
• Hide me from people I know: keep yourself hidden from contacts you'd rather didn't find you.
• Discreet mode: stay out of member browsing, while friends and the people you've connected with still see you.
• Private albums with keys: lock an album and hand keys to the people you choose, one at a time, and take them back whenever you like.
• Photos that disappear: send a photo in messages that can only be viewed once.
• Close friends: share stories with only the people on your Close friends list.
• Blocks work both ways, and any member can report a profile, photo or message in seconds.