Unicorns, bulls, throuples: what the labels mean

Spend a few minutes in any lifestyle community and you'll meet a whole vocabulary: unicorns, bulls, throuples, both-bi couples. To newcomers it can sound like a private language. In truth, each word is simply a shorthand that helps people describe who they are and what they're looking for, quickly and honestly.

A label is a starting point, never a box. People and relationships are always more than a single word, and many fit more than one. Use the words that feel right to you, and leave the rest.

“A label isn't a box. It's an introduction: a quick, honest way of saying "this is us".”

Couples

Couples are the heart of the swinging community, and the most common members at almost every event. A couple might be married, engaged or partnered, newly curious or decades into the lifestyle. What makes it work is that both partners are part of every decision.

Bi-female, bi-male and both-bi couples

These labels add one more helpful detail: who in the couple is bisexual. In a bi-female couple, the woman is bi. In a bi-male couple, the man is. In a both-bi couple, both partners are. It's a simple, respectful way to help other couples and singles see where there may be a natural fit.

Throuples and quads

A throuple is a committed relationship between three people, and a quad is one between four. Some are closed to everyone else; many enjoy the lifestyle together, much as couples do. They are relationships in their own right, with their own history and agreements, and they deserve to be treated as such: not as a couple plus extras.

Singles

Single women and single men are a valued part of the community. Some are single in the everyday sense; others have a partner at home who isn't involved in the lifestyle, with that partner's full knowledge and agreement. Bi single women and bi single men are singles who are bisexual, which helps couples who are hoping to meet someone who could connect with both partners.

Unicorns

A unicorn is a single woman, usually bi, who enjoys connecting with couples. The name comes from how rare and sought-after she is said to be, and the warmest couples treat her accordingly.

Bulls

A bull is a single man who connects with couples, usually at the couple's invitation and on the couple's terms. The best-respected bulls are known for exactly the qualities you'd hope for: confidence balanced with courtesy, real discretion, and close attention to everyone's boundaries.

How labels work on TruLS

On TruLS, these labels do practical work. Every member and couple can share who they're looking for, and just as importantly, who they're not. Those choices work in both directions, so the people suggested to you could genuinely be a fit, and each match card shows the reason it was suggested.

• Shared accounts for couples, throuples and quads, so you can present yourselves together.
• Linked accounts for partners who each have their own profile. A relationship only shows once everyone involved has accepted it.
• Choose who sees your relationships, and whether your orientation appears on your member card.

Whoever you are, you belong here

Straight, bi, gay, trans and nonbinary. Couples, singles, throuples, quads, unicorns and bulls. Newcomers and veterans. Every person and every kind of relationship deserves to be represented, and represented well. The words simply help you find each other.